First let me say thank you to everyone who has posted comments or sent emails giving us support. You have no idea how much it means to us.
It is easy in this situation to really beat yourself up over the feelings of exhaustion and frustration you have, and hearing from all you parents who have been here...telling us that it was the same for you and WILL get better made us feel MUCH better.
Last night was AWFUL! Really bad. I think we hit rock bottom with greiving. The screaming was non-stop and terrible. Eventually after about 2 hours she tired herself out and passed out on me. We got a few hours of midiocre sleep together then we were restless and crying the rest of the night. The really difficult thing is that we are in a hotel and dont know if we are disturbing other guests. If we were at home it would be a little easier to at least not worry about that.
Hsin did wake up in a better mood this morning and we had a really decent day. We strapped her in the ergo and went to the jade market right when they opened. It was pretty cool inside and Hsin fell asleep for almost 2 hours. We got some beautiful things, and it was really nice to be out. We then ran back to the hotel to get the stroller (holy crap I could kiss the guy who lent it to us) and went to lunch at a VERY traditional Chinese place. NO ONE spoke English so thank goodness there were pictures. Paul had teriaki chicken and I had some kind of pork.
We then headed to the really big department store just to wander and kill some time. You have no idea how slow a day can be when you are stuck in a hotel room for 10 days! We were SO thrilled to not get back to the room until 4:30! Hsin did really well in the stroller for about an hour or so, then in the ergo for the rest of the time.
We are now playing pretty well.
We bought a DVD at the baby store called Yo Yo TV which is basically the Chinese Wiggles. Hsin LOVES it and when she starts to get cranky with the toys we play it. At the department store today we bought a 6 DVD pack of it to bring home.
Anyway...here are some pictures from the last few days. We haven't taken that many...but there are a few cute ones.
Thank you again for all the comments and support. Please say a prayer that tonight is a little better than last night.
AIT appointment is tomorrow...then just one more day after that before we leave. PLEASE let us survive that plane ride and just get home!
Love you all!
Heather, Paul and Hsin
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19 comments:
Heather,
Only a few more days. You can do this. I pray that you have a good flight home.
Lisa
Our international adoption doctor told us that grieving is good because that means that the baby bonded with the foster parents and will eventually bond with you. Even though we knew this information, it was hard to go through it, especially when we were living out of hotel rooms and we were so sleep deprived. Hang in there. It WILL get better. Safe travels home.
Thank God for getting out of the hotel. Fresh air and new scenery can make such a difference. Praying the next few days will only get better as Hsin-Hua and you both adjust, hopefully get some more sleep, and recover from being sick.
Great news about the DVDs. In case you don't have one, you'll probably need to get a DVD player that plays VCDs (most American DVD players can't accommodate Asian DVDs; different format). We bought a cheapie off eBay to play William's Chinese DVDs. In case you're interested, it's made by Cyber Home, model CH-DVD 300).
Hang in there and keep trucking through. You're in the toughest part right now, which means it can only get better from here.
Oh sweetie!! I am so sorry things are going so rough. Hang in there you will be in the comforts of your home before you know it! As someone who will likely be going through this very soon I appreciate your honesty. It is good to hear all this things and mentally prep myself. Now...head to one of those fabulous bakeries I have been reading about and eat like 10 desserts!
Big hugs to you. When we met Jarrah, she screamed straight through every night for the first week. During the day she was fine, but at night, all hell broke loose. We averaged about two hours of sleep, and my nerves were buzzing from crazy exhaustion. I was also afraid of the flight, but you know what? I've blocked the whole thing now. :) So the good news is that in three years when someone asks you about it, you can say honestly "I really don't remember." ;)
Don't worry too much about the implications of the bad sleeping. J. didn't sleep well for about four weeks, and ever since, she sleeps about 12 hours without stirring every single night, and won't wake even if a fire alarm goes off in her room. ;)
Congratulations on becoming a family! I'm sorry you've had a rough start, but the circumstances are difficult. Sleep is HUGE. One tip -- try not to let her go more than 3 hours without sleeping so that she doesn't get overtired. Be forgiving of yourself and everyone around you because you (and she) really are sleep deprived, and that really does change a lot. Hope your trip home goes smoothly.
Tara
Thinking of you guys...it's never fun to be sick with a little one, let alone a long ways from home. I've worked with adopted children and have heard the same story from a number of parents (along with the ending that it definitely gets easier). Hang in there!
Heather,
So thrilled to hear that you are on the mend and that you were successful at venturing out and being able to explore a bit as a family! You will (someday) look back at that time and relish it....despite all the struggles...well maybe minus the tummy troubles part...ack!
Hsin-Hua looks like she is showing loads of personality in her photos and looks fantastic developmentally! The "temper" is so normal and Tyler too grieved hard(mostly at night!) for his Foster Mama. Playing music helped soothe him and it sounds like you found videos that help...yay!
Had to laugh at the pizza...cuz our last night we had Subway after not being able to find the restaurant we wanted...tired and grumpy we snagged it to go and let me tell ya, it was glorious! LOL A taste of home maybe....
Sending big wishes for AIT and the plane ride home. I bet she will do just fine...Tyler slept for loads of it and played with water bottles and his toes(and our noses) for the rest! :)
Thinking of you...hope you got something for yourself at the Jade market too!!
Lisa
I know this is so tough! You will see her sleep will get easier with time. When in Taiwan, I would take a nap in afternoon, so I would be ready for the crying time! Then I would stay up late while hubby and son sleep (with Ipods in their ears LOL! Sometimes I would go in the bathroom and run the water which was helpful and hoped blocked out the crying.
Sorry you are sick, I was recovering from stomach bug while there. Pizza hut pizza and wings; Mcdonalds are just like USA!! Also they sell pringles everywhere and candy bars made in US. Good luck on the flight home.
I will continue to pray for you.
Michelle C, AL
home with Brooke 12/08
www.teamcouey.blogspot.com
I just love the mirror pictures! She truly does look happy! It will just take a bit of time for her to truly bond!
Jami
Of course it will get better...all three of you have some major adjusting to do and you all have to get used to each other! We are thinking of you over here and wish you luck on the rest of your trip and the trip home!!! In a few weeks, you won't even remember these rough times!!
Paul and Heather,
Glad that you are feeling better.
I loved the pictures- What a sweet, happy girl.
Praying for the huge adjustment for you all and a restful trip home.
Love and hugs and prayers,
Debi
Thanks for the baby eye candy. She has so many of the same expressions that Hayden has. She is simply adorable, and clearly is a girl who knows what she wants.
Glad you were able to get out to the jade market. Please let Lisa know where it is, I couldn't tell her!!
You should be on your way to AIT as I type, so good luck with that, and you are in the homestretch.
Wishing, and hoping and praying that the flight goes well. Rice crackers, and bottles is what helped during our awake times.
We had two stops, so hopefully going non-stop will make yours even better.
You are almost there, and things will seems so much better once you are home.
love ya girl
jules
Heather,
Glad to hear that things are going a little better. You are getting closer to getting home. :-)
You may want to buy a DVD player while you're in Taiwan -- we bought a bunch of DVD's for Elli, and then couldn't play them when we got them home.
Sending warm thoughts for another day of good time outside of the hotel room!
Heather F.
Glad that you are feeling better and were able to get out for a while. You are in the home stretch. You will be home soon. Love the pictures! She is a cutie.
She is so beautiful. Thank goodness she has you there to help her deal with these changes in her life. Hang in there.
So glad things are going a bit better for you. Like so many have already told you, it was very difficult for us at first as well. You "know" in you head before you have your baby that there will be tough times, especially at first, but that knowledge never compares to the emotions you feel when you are going through it. Things will get better, and better, and better... Just ride out the storm & you will all be closer because of it. Thoughts & prayers are with you for a peaceful journey home.
oh and by the way....those pcitures you have been getting all along do NO justice to that cute little girl you have !!! The pictures you are sending are great!!
Oh My goodnness-how cute is she!?!? We were laughing because Abby has all the same clothes as Hsin Hua, we must shop at the same stores.
Hang in there-you will be home before you know it.
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