Hi everyone...I know we aren't posting much but it has been a tough trip so far.
The day after we picked up Hsin-Hua I was VERY sick. So sick I have lost 13 pounds. Not good.
Paul was a saint and entertained the little one all day while I barfed and slept.
Neither one of us has an appetite so even Pauly has lost about 6 pounds, which for him is really bad, since he is so skinny to begin with.
Hsin-Hua is not quite as easy going as they made her out to be. She has a little bit of a temper, and is a TERRIBLE sleeper. Last night was our best night so far where she slept in the crib for 4 hours. Then in bed with us for the rest. That wouldn't be so bad, but she is a terribly restless sleeper and is constantly moving and kicking and flailing about the bed, so that 4 hours was the only rest we have had in about 3 days.
We are running on no sleep, and very little food.
This was WAY too long to stay in Taiwan. We really wish we were home getting on a routine, and with all the support and comfort that home brings. If it hadn't been for her birthday we wouldn't have come so soon and stayed so long.
The sweet man at the front desk lent us his personal stroller for the rest of the trip. We couldn't find one for less than $150 and that is just ridiculous. If Hsin-Hua will take her morning nap, we are going to head out for a bit. We are hoping she will like the stroller as Mommy and Daddy's backs need a bit of a break.
The routine they told us she was on is complete crap. She doesn't sleep AT ALL close to the schedule they said. I think they just tell everyone the same basic schedule and then you are on your own to really figure it out.
Anyway...wanted to let you all know we are alive. Hoping the final few days get a little bit better. Then we get to start over at home on the wrong time zone. I am dreading the plane ride home.
Friday, July 31, 2009
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15 comments:
Praying for the 3 of you! I hope you all have a good day and manage to get some rest. I'm sure it will get easier once you are home.
Julie
(((HUGS))) Heather, I have been thinking of you every day! I was SO hoping you were simply too busy with all the sightseeing and fun to blog. I am so sad to hear that you have been ill...that makes it all the harder!!
As to the sleep and schedules....yeah, it must be an estimate or something...Tyler's was way off too! Sending wishes for better sleep and I hope the stroller gives you guys more freedom to explore!
It IS hard to be new parents and be so far from home & your support network......take care and know that lots of us are pulling for you!!
HUGS!! Lisa
Okay...first it is mostly crap they tell you, Hayden was not on any sort of a sched that they lead us to believe. The sleeping will get better....it will just take about 4-6 weeks(sorry) Hayden did okay in Taiwan, but was a terrible sleeper once we got home. Hayden never stopped moving and would have crying or screaming outburst up to 12-13 times a night....now we hardly hear a word out of her.
I am so sorry that you are sick, that was my biggest worry while we were there. I do hope you are on the mend, and down 13, that is a lot since you will lose more once you are home. So make sure when you get home you are making a point to get something in your stomach.
Glad you got a stroller, that hopefully will help. I have not gotten Hayden use to riding in hers yet...she only will sit in it if she is in her infant carrier...so I do hope you have better luck.
Hayden has a HUGE temper, we saw it tonight as a matter of fact. My ped told me to think of it as a good sign...she is aware of what she wants and doesn't want and will happily share the details!! I guess aware and not meek are the key traits here that I am suppose to be happy about:)
I have thought about you non-stop, and hate that it has been rough. I am wishing you the same plane ride home we had with a very sleepy baby.
Again I promise it does get better, it just takes time, and in the height of being sleep deprieved it sure doesn't feel like it will improve. But it does.
Love you girl, and sending you my thoughts, good karma, prayers, and lot's of hugs!!!
jules
Hugs to you. Having very little sleep and a child with a temper is not easy. We went through the same thing with our last adoption, and I struggled during my time in China and during the first few months at home. There were moments when I had to dig very deep inside to overcome the struggles, but it will get easier and oh-so-wonderful. Now that we are 6 months post-adoption, life is easy again and so fun. I wish you the same happiness. Hope you feel better and safe travels home.
It sounds like it has been such a rough time for you all. I'm sure this was certainly not how you imagined things to be. I'm praying that you get better ASAP. I suppose if you had to get sick, it's probably best that you hit the prime of it before you got on the plane to go home. I hope you're able to get some food down your stomachs (that includes you, too, Paul!) and that Hsin Hua goes easy on you with sleep. If it gets really bad, don't be afraid of using Benadryl if you have some. I don't think anyone could fault you for getting some sleep. All 3 of you could use it.
For now, don't lose hope. You're in the thick of the storm right now, but things WILL get better. For now, just focus on doing the next thing, whatever that may be. Our hearts go out to you. You're almost home.
Oh my gosh Heather. THis too is a big fear of mine. I don't have a good stomach to start with. Maybe you could get on an earlier flight home?? The whole schedule thing will get better for you once she is home. Remember it is like having a new born and starting all over. Oh gosh... any tips for me? Now I am really nervous...leaving on Tuesday. Hope you are feeling better.
lol
Lisa
Hi Heather...I am so sorry that you are not having a great time. We had many of the same problems with Mia and she didn't go by the schedule we were given either. She didn't even eat what we were told were her favorite foods. As far as the sleep thing, I atttribute that to the fact that her life has just totally changed, she is sleeping in a strange place with strangers and doesn't really know what will happen next. We talked to an adoption specialist in Abington and she helped us overcome some of the issues that we had to deal with. When you get home I'd be happy to give you her name and number.
I hope you and Paul are feeling better soon and look forward to hearing about how things are going when you get home. If you need anything, just let me know.
Hugs and prayers for you...this is not the way to start first time parenthood, that's for sure. I hope you heal quickly...being sick is very difficult while taking care of a baby.
As far as the sleep thing goes...what TWCA told you might be absolutely accurate...but Hsin-Hua is grieving. She doesn't have her foster mother whom she's been with for a very long time. You smell different. The room is different. Her crib is different. You hold her different. All these things will effect her ability to calm herself and go to sleep. It will take time for her to mourn and to get used to her new family. It's hard, but try to be patient with her.
When we first adopted Jake, the kid would NOT sleep. It was horrible. HORRIBLE. I definitely went through a post adoption depression. I did not bond with him right away either. But, a few months went by...we bonded, he got on a good sleep schedule, and life got SO much better.
Hang in there...and just keep telling yourself, "this too shall pass."
Heather! I hope you are feeling better soon if not already! Pauly...you better go get yourself some Taiwainese treats to fatten you up!!
I am sure if Hsin-Hua WAS on a schedule all the excitement of meeting you guys and all the other new things she is doing are going to just totally screw that up. I am sure when you get her home, you can get her on a schedule...and then she will get some new teeth, and it will go to crap again:) Welcome to the WONDERFUL!!! world of parenthood. Can't wait to see you guys!!
Hang in there guys! Things will get better once you are home and Hsin-Hua has a chance to relax into her new family. I swear Lily was a whole different child in China and really didn't start to open up to us for weeks after she was home. Praying the sickness passes soon and you all get some rest. Oh, I second the Benedryl tip! It is not good for Hsin-Hua to not sleep either.
Oh, I am so sorry you guys are sick! That must be so incredibly tough. I hope you start to feel better soon! I totally agree with Michelle--she is grieving and I don't think you should expect her to be on any kind of a schedule at this point. The note we got from Lauren's foster mother said "just leave her in her crib and she'll fall asleep." No WAY! We could tell how terrified she was and Ryan held her while she slept for a couple of weeks. You are in the thick of things right now and it is undoubtedly tough...I know it's a hard time for everyone and I feel for you so much. You can worry about schedules and all of that later on, just take care of yourselves now and do the best you can. Hugs!
First of all, congratulations! And let me tell you, how I totally get what you're going through. I, too, dreaded the flight home, and you know what, it actually wasn't that bad. Just keep those bottles ready! So sorry that you're having to deal with the illness on top of trying to adjust to each other. As we near our 1 year Family Day, I can tell you right now, it wasn't really a day to "celebrate" - in fact it was the days to follow that came with the joy and laughter that we all look forward to. Praying for a safe and unevently trip home, for patience in everyone's hearts as you all transition to becoming a family! Once you're home you will feel so much better - in your own element, and especially to be surrounded by those who love you and can support you. It does and it will get better and easier. . .I remember how many tears I shed in front of my laptop in Taiwan, and all the tears while Skyping with my DH. Hsin-Hua is beautiful, and she's all yours!!! Take care.
Heather,
I'm sorry that you were sick and hope you're feeling better. Remember to eat as you need to keep up your strength!! It seemed we would skip lunch when we were in Taiwan and I'd be starving by dinner time. I thought of my first week of parenting in Taiwan as a transition and that helped me to remember that it wasn't always going to be like this. When we got home, it was another 2 week transition to get Emma to Chicago time... and we're still in transition to Emma's new toddler phase. We also waited for Emma to finish napping (if Hsin-Hua naps, then you nap also!!) when we were in Taiwan and my sister with kids said if you want to go out, just go out, put her in the stroller and she'll nap if she's tired. You still have a couple days left so it's worth trying. Sometimes you all just need to get out of the hotel room to see something different! Sending you positive thoughts for your plane ride home, that her temper subsides and you get more of her beautiful smiles!
Ching
Heather,
I'm so sorry that things have been tough for you these first few days.
International adoption is not an easy way to begin parenting, and we had a tough time in Taiwan, as well. My best friend wrote the following, and it was the biggest comfort to me, so I'm going to repeat it here in the hopes it helps you:
"International adoption sets up this situation where you are put into the grand Olympics of parenting from moment one of picking up your child. This is a team sport, and you have a team member who is likely not fully cooperative with you at the moment on really important decisions like when to sleep, eat, etc. That is okay. Your goal is to get through this right now, and to come home to the people who love you and support you so that they can pick up their end of this team sport and support you and Paul and Hsin-Hua."
She also told me that in 4 years of parenting, the few days around picking up her children were the toughest parenting days she had, and told me that if we could survive picking up our daughter, we could survive anything that was to follow. In my 10 months of experience, I can tell you that the time in Taiwan was the most difficult parenting time we have had.
Hang in there -- we are thinking about all three of you and wishing you wellness, good food, and an easy adjustment.
Heather F.
Oh Heather- I'm sorry that the last few days have been so difficult. It is hard to be sick when you are away from home and so much harder with a baby and no sleep. Hang in there.
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